My partner’s work seems to be taking over our lives at home with constant emails and messages outside of her contracted working hours. It is really beginning to affect our relationship
How do we get the balance between home and work since both are important. We need to earn a living but also want time for family, friends and us. How do we protect our time with partner and/or family life from the distractions of work responsibilities whilst being responsive to work demands?
Time together is important to sustain and grow our relationships but we also need to be realistic about what fits in with our lives and how much time we have. We have 7 ideas of little things you can do to get you on track to re-set the balance.
Little and often
It is so easy to keep in touch with texts or online messages. Why not get into the habit of quick messages during the day to help you keep in contact. They don’t need to be long – a little ‘x’ on a text means a lot more than no text at all. Work out your own style and keep doing it.
Take advantage of those quick connection moments with a touch or hug where you may not be able to fit in a long chat. It is a good way of connecting as you pass in the kitchen while getting breakfast or run out of the door in the morning.
Small is beautiful…..
Find something small you can do for your partner that means a lot to them. Make them a cup of tea in the morning, empty the dishwasher together, hang up the washing, wash their car, buy them something small but nice once a week.
Book some time in
If you are struggling getting time together, you may need to include time in your diary to make sure it happens. Even a half hour coffee and chat can help make a difference or a half hour walk around the block. If you can’t manage a night together every week, make it fortnightly or monthly – it all depends on your circumstances and make it work for you.
Have time where you are off limits
Block out time when you won’t look at or respond to work calls, texts or emails so that family and partners know that you won’t be distracted at those times e.g. before the kids bedtime, Saturday mornings, Sunday evenings
Have fun
Having fun can be really important in helping you connect and doesn’t have to be a big thing. It can be as simple as having an impromptu bubble fight while doing the washing up or sending silly photos – anything to get you laughing together. Just use your imagination……
Don’t try and do it all yourself
Make the most of the support network around you to take the load so that you aren’t trying to do everything at home as well as work. You could cook food in large batches and freeze in daily portions to save time during the week or let your sister in law cut the lawn or share lifts to kids’ activities with other parents.
Reassess
You may need to reassess your priorities together as a family while being realistic about your expectations and life stage and the demands they place on each of you.
How we can help
If you have begun to use any of our tips and need extra support or find you need some more in-depth support from the start, then do contact us about arranging some relationship counselling with one of our experienced therapists.