We don’t seem to talk anymore and it feels like we are leading separate lives
Since communication is at the heart of all relationships, it shouldn’t be a surprise when we experience difficulties or communication breakdown at some point. Sometimes, couples feel unable to resolve their issues alone and seek help in the form of relationship or couples counselling.
Relationships go through different stages and have to deal with many changes and pressures. Maintaining communication is important in a relationship weathering the changes since the way we communicate with others can have a major impact on our lives.
7 tips for improving communication
If you think you need to improve your communciation, these tips might be useful:
Set aside time to talk. This can be hard in our busy lives but uninterrupted time is important. Turn off your phones and TV. Take it in turns to speak while the other listens and then swap. Try and listen to what the other person is really saying – both verbally and body language.
Remember that everyone is different. We all have things that niggle our partners and it is important to try and see those annoying habits objectively when we are communicating.
Tell your partner how you feel. Own your own feelings and try and express it without blaming the other person e.g. “I feel sad when….”
Do something relaxing together. This can be as simple as having a drink or a coffee or going for a walk.
Take up a new interest together e.g. language, learn salsa, take up cycling. Shared interests can be good in helping relationships and give you something new to talk about.
Give it time. You won’t necessarily get instant improvement but these things should help.
Start small. This is something that you would want to be able to maintain in the long term and it is better to start small and build up communication rather than go at it all guns blazing.
How we can help
If you’re still having problems, then do contact us about arranging some relationship counselling with one of our experienced therapists.
We have decided to separate. Is there a way of doing it without a communication or relationship breakdown?
Occasionally, couples who are separating come for couples counselling to resolve issues so that they can continue to coexist without continued difficulty. This can be very useful when couples have children together and will remain in contact with each other.